When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  - David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

 

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.  - Sigmund Freud

'Somepeople ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to arestaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft musicand dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' - Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' - Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' - James Holt McGavra

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.  - Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....Nash

You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to..  - Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met. - Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' - Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' - Anonymous